For our character review this week, we decided to discuss Bella, shellan of Zsadist, from the Black Dagger Brotherhood. Heather and I had a short interaction in the forums when we first launched and it seems we have some disagreement about points of Bella’s personality that we thought might make for interesting discussion in a character review.

Bella is a beautiful woman, tall, beautiful, perfect. She was also has a quiet strength and determination in her nature. Independent and knowing her mind, Bella doesn’t seem to be the type of woman who is willing to martyr herself for a relationship with a ruined man. As self assured and contained as she is, one would expect she would want a man who could appreciate the good parts of her, not one she has to nurse back from the brink of insanity.

Bella’s first meeting with Zsadist was seared in her memory, watching his scarred face beat the heavy bag with a fury and speed she hadn’t seen. From that moment, she was intrigued and enthralled by Z. There was something about his nature that was so feral and so ferocious, and we all know how much girls love bad boys. You can’t find a boy badder than Zsadist, can you? Zsadist did everything he could to push Bella away from him and into the arms of his twin, to no avail. Even telling her she made him sick, and then having her catch him literally getting sick moments later, didn’t change her mind. She is drawn to Zsadist in an inexplicable way, to the point where she wrote of him in her journal at night before she was kidnapped by the Lessening Society.

Bella loves Zsadist completely, and her understated way of standing by him has certainly helped him heal, but there are times when she just infuriates me with her placid interactions with him. When he pushes, she yields and then waits patiently for him to figure it out. At least that’s how it seems to me, many times over. A perfect example of this is in the Guide, when Jane realizes that Z won’t drink from Bella. He has a seemingly noble reason – she needs it more. But he’s making himself sick from it, and Bella and doesn’t push him to eat. How hard could it be to get him to drink from her really? I just wanted to shout “Open a vein woman! Tell him either he takes the blood or it goes to waste on the floor! Stop letting him harm himself!”

When Zsadist hurts Bella emotionally, she leaves him. Physically leaves him, packs her stuff and goes. She knows the reason he’s doing the things that hurt her, the reason he’s keeping her at a distance, is his ugly past that continues to haunt him. That and his absolute belief that he is dirty and tainted and that he will taint her. Those things drive him to keep her away from him. When Bella can’t figure out how to help him, she leaves. It bugs me that she does that. It seems cowardly to me, to leave when it gets tough. Bella is Z’s savior. He says so himself, but I often wondered while reading their story if she shouldn’t have done more when he was having trouble changing his self-destructive ways. Marriage and life are full of so many problems, even in the best worlds. Zsadist should be able to count on his Bella to not use abandonment as a way to manipulate his behavior. Not to mention, after being married for 19 years, I know there will be many times in their 700+ years together when things will suck and Bella will feel like she’s banging her head against a wall. And as I said to Heather, if you never bang your head against the wall for long, how will you know how good it feels to stop?

If you want to discuss Bella further (and tell me how wrong I am about her), visit the lair.

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As Meesh said, we had a bit of a debate one day on the forums about Bella. In the process, we realized how differently we look at her. Thus, this particular character review was born. I love the Black Dagger Brotherhood series – asking me to pick a favorite book is almost impossible because I love each of the brothers in their own, unique way. However, if I’m forced to pick, I would have to say my favorite book is Lover Awakened. Zsadist totally owns my heart. His life was hell, but he was able to pick himself up and become a man of worth. Granted, it took him a very long time, and the road wasn’t easy, but he did it. One of the biggest reasons Z was able to turn his life around was Bella. All of the females in the BDB series have challenges to face with their men, but I think the challenge Bella had with Z was one of the hardest of all. The fact that she stuck with him, even when he did everything possible to push her away, combined with the personal obstacles she had to overcome along the way, makes Bella my favorite female character in the series.

Bella first encounters Zsadist when her friend Mary becomes involved with another member of the Brotherhood. As a civilian vampire, she had heard about his reputation but wanted to find out for herself just how true the rumors were. After visiting the Brotherhood compound with Mary, she quickly finds out that everything she heard about Zsadist was true. He is angry and aloof, and his only sense of worth in life comes from killing lessers. His own brother even goes so far to say he is ruined beyond repair. Despite all of this, Bella still feels drawn to him.

However, before Bella can get to know much more about Zsadist, a member of the Lessening Society kidnaps her. After spending six weeks as a hostage, Zsadist, along with several of his brothers, rescue her and bring her back to the compound. This is where the story of Bella and Zsadist truly begins.

From the moment Zsadist begins taking care of Bella after her rescue, feelings and emotions he had long since buried start to resurface. Anger and hate had been his companions for so long, that these new, tender feelings toward Bella scare him and begin to bring back memories of his past. His time as a blood slave had left him feeling dirty and unworthy of love. So, in order to avoid his feelings for Bella, he does everything in his power to push her away.

But, Bella doesn’t give up easily. When Zsadist tells her to get out of his room, she persuades him to sleep in the same bed with her. When he refuses to let her drink from his vein, she pushes him until he allows her to drink from him. And, when Bella realizes the extent of the suffering and humiliation he endured as a blood slave, she tries so hard to prove to Zsadist that he is beautiful and good, not dirty and ruined. When Zsadist tells Bella that the only sex that she could have with him would not involve much “making love,” she tells him if that is the only way she can have him, then that’s how it would be. To me, that shows how committed she was to showing Zsadist that she loved him and wanted to be with him despite the things that had happened in his past. It would have been so much easier for her to walk away and not take his abuse, but Bella was strong enough to take it and stand up to him in the process.

She was strong enough to teach him what sex between two people that loved each other could be like, gentle, passionate, and beautiful, even when he said horrible things to her. However, every person has their breaking point, and Bella reached hers when the lesser that had kidnapped her took Phury, Z’s twin brother. Zsadist announced that he was going after Phury alone, even if it meant that he would die. In the end, both brothers almost died, and were only saved because of Bella. For her, that was the last straw. She loved Zsadist, but couldn’t stand by him while he treated his life as nothing more than trash to be thrown away.

At that point, Bella did the only thing she could – she left. In the end, that’s what it took for Zsadist to finally realize the true extent of his feelings for her. He realized that he wanted to be a better person for her – a true man of worth. In her absence, he began taking care of himself, and even asked Mary to help him learn to read. Would these things have happened if Bella had stayed? Maybe, but the decisions that might have been made under different circumstances and could have just as easily led Zsadist to resent her.

I think it takes a special kind of strength to know when to push and when to pull back. There were so many times Bella could have easily walked away from Zsadist. Most of the time, he did everything he could to get her to leave him. But, she saw more in Zsadist than he ever saw in himself. She knew that there were times that she was going to have to push him if he was ever going to open him. But, when it came time to let Zsadist go, she was also strong enough to know that it was the only thing she could do.

What do you think about Bella? Do you agree with me, or with Meesh? Let us know in the Lair.