Wicked Wednesday
I had such a good time talking to Saluki this week that it took up the entire WW blog. Check out our no hold bars chat, plus a sneak peak at next week’s WW submission.
me: How did you get into fan fic?
Saluki: Susan got me into both reading and writing fan fic. So, I have her to thank for my obsession with all things smut and the occasional writers block.
me: So you knew Susan before fan fic?
Saluki: Yes, I met Susan three years ago on a Wentworth Miller fan board.
me: Who?
Saluki: Wentworth Miller, the hot guy from Prison Break. Michael Scofield.
me: Oh! Sorry I can be pop culture stunted at times.
Saluki: We both worshiped at his altar at the time, and when we found out how closed we lived to each other, we decided we had to meet. It has been mayhem and hilarity ever since. She also got me hooked on Twilight…do you see a pattern emerging here?
me: Susan is a bit of bad influence, huh?
Saluki: Well, in all honesty, I’m probably a worse influence, but this is a PG-13 board, so…
me: Actually, We have a NC-17 warning here!
Saluki: Nice! Well, she would tell you that I make her drink too much. But, sometimes you need a friend to be that little devil on your shoulder. I also have no verbal filter, so that leads to some interesting situations at times.
me: Now that’s the good stuff readers want to hear!
Saluki: Oh, the stories she could tell, or not.
me: I’ll definitely have to ask her about that when I interview her again.
Saluki: She will dish – she can be a bitch like that. Sus, if you read this, you know I’m saying it from one evil hag to another.
me: I’m so posting that!
heather: Sus is the one who first called me an evil hag.
Funny story – I didn’t cry during the break up scene in NM. She leaned over and whispered “In what part of the life-cycle of an evil hag does she get her tear ducts removed.”
That is the kind of friend she is.
me: What an awesome one-liner!
Saluki: I know it. It’s gotten good play.
me: So, what DID you think of NM?
Saluki: Overall, I loved it. There were a few things that were cringe worthy, like Jasper’s hair, or the frolicking through the meadow scene. But other than that, I thought it was visually stunning, the acting was excellent, the music fit completely, Chris Weitz did an amazing job.
me: What is the one fic (any fandom) that you think everyone should read?
Saluki: Scotch, Gin and the New Girl by WTVOC and Jandco, hands down a must read. We had a party when the fic was finished, complete with scotch, gin, a new girl and an Emmett worthy 90′s rap/hip hop playlist.
me: What real books are you reading right now?
Saluki: Right now I’m reading Sunshine by Robin McKinley. It is a book in the vampire genre. In fact, I’m doing a book review on the blog in a couple of weeks. Basically, the main character, Sunshine, lives in a world where Other’s live along side humans. Vampires are the baddest of the Other’s. One evening, Sunshine is kidnapped by a group of vampires and brought back to a house and is chained to the wall opposite another, hungry vampire. She manages to escape and sets the vampire free, thus creating a bond between them.
me: Sounds really good.
Saluki: It’s a fascinating book – check the blog for my review.
me: I’m looking forward to your review! Okay, now how about a little smut?
Saluki: Um, yes!
me: Who is you favorite pairing in fic to read? Are you a canon shipper?
Saluki: I’m a B & E girl, but I do enjoy some Jasper/Bella from time to time. And I do love Jasper/Edward slash.
me: So what is your fave slash fic?
Saluki: That’s a hard one. hehehe
me: Tell me about it!
Saluki: AngstGoddess wrote a great one, Great Vexations. It was a very angsty – surprise! It’s a one shot, but sooo good.
me: I’ll have to check it out. What makes you cringe when you read smut? Are there any cliches that make you groan?
Saluki: Oh, there are too many awful phrases authors use in smut. Any reference to the vagina as a flower. Just, no. Or sheathing his rock hard rod into my velvety folds – shit like that. What’s wrong with dick or cock? Or even penis? Cuz I don’t want anything resembling a rod anywhere near my vagina! And why is Edward always hung like a horse? What happened to perfectly normal sized dicks? If Rob really does read fan fic, he probably has a complex now. My rule of thumb is if you can use your penis as a weapon, keep it away from me.
.
me: The other big thing is why do people leave out the lube? Anal sex = lube!
Saluki: YES! Or use spit – hardy har har. Bella would not be basking in any post coital glow after that.
me: Okay, you ready for my game? Any fandom: Pick you 3 fave bad guys.
Saluki: Chuck Bass, Spike and Jace from the Mortal Instruments Trilogy.
me: Now who would you
A. Fuck
B. Marry
C. Kill
Saluki: Out of those three? Hmmm…fuck Chuck bass. Marry Jace and kill Spike. There is just something about Chuck Bass that makes me want to tear his clothes off and have my way with him. I think it is the combination of the power and cockiness with the little seen sweet side.
Jace seems like he would be a good husband. He is so protective of Clary, and I wouldn’t mind waking up to him in my bed every day. Poor Spike is the last one standing, so therefore I have to kill him. But not before I fuck him.
me: I like your reasoning. I think that’s about it.
Saluki: I had a great time!
me: I did too! Thanks for the interview!
Saluki: Anytime.
Next week’s WW submission is by Jules, author of “Changing Tides, New World, a post-BD story from various points of view. The Cullens need to leave Forks. How does everyone react? What about Nessie and Jacob? This story gives a view of our favorite vamps and wolves five years into the future.
For her one-shot she is giving us a treat, some Esme/ Carlisle lovin’!
It’s called “Paging Dr. Cullen.”
“As I drove towards the hospital, I did my best not to speed. The last thing I needed was an inconvenient traffic stop.
My thoughts continued to spiral, along with the rain, into the gutter. I thought about Carlisle’s smooth skin, his firm and chiseled chest, his delicious and satisfying length; my skin simmered at the vision of running my tongue along each line, my mouth arriving to arouse him to the point of frenzy.
Before I knew it, I was pulling into the parking lot, which was thankfully pretty empty. My timing seemed to be on point.
I entered the hospital and proceeded past the admissions area. As I entered the emergency room, I carefully peered around the corner and waited until I saw the nurses had left their station. I slipped by the vacated post, walked down the hall and let myself into the examination room at the far end. Now there was only one thing left to do.
I picked up the phone in the room and paged Carlisle.”
wait wait to clarify I am not calling you an evil I am simply saying the line “evil hag” is funny
HAHAHA evil hag, nice one!
Thank you! But I still love you, you smart whore.
I say that lovingly.
Sorry that I left that small detail out. It does make you appear to be much less of a bitch.
Just so you all know, Saluki failed to mention that when we were watching the break-up scene she said (whilst she was pretending to sniff sadly) “Wow…if I *could* cry, I would.”
Which is what led to the evil hag remark. I’m sure the people sitting next to us in the theater appreciated that.
Oh my god!
That was a hilarious interview. Saluki and Sirenastarot, I bow down to your greatness.