Before I go any further, I’m going to remind you this feature is NC-17. So make sure you’re 18 before reading.

Hello there, WW readers, it’s me again, SusanAshlea, the one who can’t write lemons.

But can I?

The last time I spoke with you, I discussed my frustrations over my inability to write the lemons.  I relayed my frustrations over the words I can’t say and all that nonsense.  Then the very next day, I decided, “I can do this,” and I set out to writing a Demetri outtake for my story, Finding Forever.

Most of it had to do with the fact that one of my friends was in the process of writing me THE BEST o/s ever (which, as of press time, has become at least a 2 part story).  I felt bad that she was putting all of this work into writing a o/s, and she talked about how she doesn’t do lemons, but she was working through it because she wanted to write this story for me.  And as I read teaser after delicious teaser, I decided I was going to face my fears and write a lemon – without any help from my beta.

Well, ladies and…ladies (I’d be tickled if there were some gents reading this column. Please raise your hand if you are one), I am here to say: I DID IT!

I wrote a lemon all by myself, with no help from my beta.  Saluki was there through the whole thing, virtually holding my hand.  She offered on more than one occasion to help me out, but I refused it, saying I wanted to do it by myself.  I wrote the preamble stuff fairly quickly, but when it came to the actual lemon itself, I struggled.  It took me something like 16 hours over 4 days to write this story.  Sometimes, I’d only get 100 words in an hour because I had to think so hard on the perfect lemony phrases I wanted to use.  I tried to steer clear of certain words, and I tried not to use anything too cliché.  In the end, I came out with an outtake that was a little over 8,000 words, even though the actual lemon is fairly short, I found it quite satisfying.

I’m not sure that I’ll ever write another one.  It wasn’t something I necessarily enjoyed writing; it was really difficult for me and had it not been for the support of the girls in WC along with my beta, I probably wouldn’t have finished it.  But, overall, it was a good exercise in writing. I pushed my limits and found that I could write something I previously thought I couldn’t, so I consider it a success.  (If you’d like to read it, you can find it in the twifansforHaiti compilation. It’s called “Falling Upside Down.”)

One person who obviously doesn’t have trouble writing the lemons is Britpacksuccubus.  She is the author of the excellent I Get Off and this week’s Wicked Wednesday spotlight author.  As always, MVF likes to ask their spotlight author a few questions. Here is what Brit had to say:

I Get Off is an exceptional lemon-filled masterpiece.  Did you ever have problems writing lemons?

Aww…thank you so much for your kind words, that is sweet.  Well, since IGO began straight out of the gate with lots of self-love, I was a nervous wreck when I had to write their first interlude together.  But once I got through the first lemon, it seemed to get a bit easier.  I have more trouble writing dialogue than lemons, I think.

How did the idea of IGO come to you?

Driving home from work one evening I heard the song I Get Off by Halestorm for the first time.  It really struck a chord with me and I knew in that moment that it had to be a one-shot.  I began banging it out that evening and within a couple of days had it posted.  It was so well received that IGO, as we know it, was born.  So much for just a o/s.  *shrugs*

A couple of weeks ago, Sirenastarot discussed taboos in fan fiction; are there any topics you feel particularly strongly about when it comes to what shouldn’t be written about in fan fiction?

Well, recently a huge taboo was brought to light with a o/s that a few sick girls thought was amusing regarding pedophilia.  As a mother, the thought of such twisted behavior makes me want to do unmentionable things to the offenders.  I can’t imagine why anyone would want to think it through, write about it and then post it for others to see.  Glorifying pedophilia, incest, rape and bestiality are unthinkable taboos in my opinion.

When you are writing your lemons, do you have a particular process?

No, no process really.  I am one that needs quiet and no interruptions which is very rare.  I need to get lost in my head, visualizing every detail and get very cranky when I get distracted.

I found that the Kings of Leon Only By the Night album was very beneficial when it came to writing my lemon. Do you have any sexy song suggestions for people who like to listen as they write?

I am not one that likes music (or tv or anything really) when I write.  But I do have some really sexy songs that I find inspiring.  Lick by Joi and Give it to Me Right by Melanie Fiona are all kinds of sexy; Play by David Banner is great for writing some dirty, nasty sexin’; and so many come to mind for loving, intimate lemons such as Adele’s version of Make You Feel My Love, and really anything by Chester See, Amos Lee, Ray LaMontagne, or David Gray do it for me.

Your lemons are pretty darn hot; what advice would you give someone who has difficulty writing them?

Well, I gotta say that experience is the biggest thing I think.  I can’t imagine trying to write a really hot lemon as a virgin, I mean I know there are surely some out there and no I don’t want links to read them all, but I think first hand knowledge makes a huge difference and translates through the written word much better.  But, beyond that, music is a nice motivator and porn always works really nicely for me.  I enjoy watching video porn but finding a great picture is also a terrific jumping off point.  But, most of all, have faith in yourself and your ability to do it.  Imagine every single detail in your mind and write them all.  I need to visualize what I’m reading and I can’t do that if the writer hasn’t given me enough descriptive detail.  A great author once told me when I was writing my IGO o/s, think and write with all five senses.  So now I try to help the reader be able to see, hear, taste, smell and feel the characters, environments, activities, etc.

What are you reading right now? Any “wicked” recommendations for us?

Unfortunately, I’ve fallen horribly behind on all my reading but some of my favorites are Awakening by bbwraven, Seeing Their Future by kikikinz, Where the Road Meets the Sun by miztrezboo, Answering Bell by ilsuocantante, A Constant in the Darkness by camoozle, and a new favorite called First Impressions by romanysue.

Tell us a little bit about your Wicked Wednesday submission:

My submission began as a birthday gift for my friend MisterTwister.  I knew I wanted to eventually post it to my outtakes story, Everyone Gets Off.  However, since he only wanted some Alice alone time and I knew others would want some Jasper action too, I decided to expand upon it a bit for WW.

And as always, our favorite Wicked Wednesday game. Choose 3 vamps, any fandom:

Of those vamps, which would you 1)Screw  2)Marry and 3)Kill:

Hmmm…Twilight is the only vamp fandom I’m familiar with so I’ll go with the standard trio of Edward, Emmett and Jasper.  I know I’ll catch shit for this but I have to say that I’d kill Jasper, screw Emmett, and because he is such an innocent virgin and I’d need lots of time to teach him lots of tricks, I’d marry Edward.

Thanks to Britpacksuccubus for joining us this week and make sure you check out her WW submission, chapter 2 of Everybody Gets Off. You won’t regret it, I promise!