Feb 04 2010
The Other Half of the Cow
The last column I wrote, I discussed Edward and the flaws he would have if he was real. He isn’t real, so all the perceived flaws aren’t either, but if he was a living, breathing man, then he’d be a royal pain in the ass. But in love, as in many things, there is never just one side to the story. Bella certainly had her share of foibles, but because Twilight was from her point of view, we saw hers a lot more clearly.
Bella was a very generic character. She was written brilliantly so that any girl or woman could put herself into Bella’s place and become the heroine of the story. She was “plain” looking, by her own description. Brown hair, brown eyes, not tall, but not terribly short either. Nondescript is a term that could be used to describe Bella Swan’s appearance. She didn’t wear makeup or wear pretty dresses. She was more level headed, down to earth, and just a real girl. And isn’t that what most of us see ourselves as?
She was clumsy, very clumsy, to the point where the very act of walking put her at risk for injury. There are a lot of uncoordinated teenage girls, though, because they go through that phase where their bodies have outgrown their brains and their proprioception is just a wee tad off. Essentially, when your body is larger than your brain realizes, you don’t know how much space you take up and that leads to a general lack of coordination. Most of us went through that stage. Many of us are still clumsy, some of us to the point of humor. Like me. I have no depth perception. I have literally fallen on my ass on the floor because I missed the seat I was aiming for by a foot. The world is flat to me, so I have some interesting klutz moments. Like running into glass walls that look very much to me like the glass doors. A house of mirrors could have me bleeding and bawling in a matter of minutes. But many women have their “shining” moments and that was one of Bella’s traits with which most of us can easily identify.
But her lack of definition aside, let’s look at her love life. Edward was her first boyfriend, really. She was 17 years old and apparently didn’t date anyone before him. She didn’t even seem to have any boys that she felt particularly drawn to. Seventeen and never had her hand held? Wow, that’s pretty darn pure, isn’t it? And yet, Edward pops into her life, kisses her once, and she becomes an out of control horndog who tries to strip Edward of his virtue over and over in the story. Edward is always the one who pulls back, who holds off, and it seems very desperate to me that Bella would keep at it the way she did. What self respecting woman would keep hitting on a man who was so controlled? I wouldn’t have. I would have given up on that trip long before he gave in. But this was “true and lasting love”, right? And she was so in love that she would degrade herself over and over in order to some day get a little from him. She threw herself at him, begged him. It was a disgusting display, really. 
Then there was her constant feeling of being inadequate, of never being good enough. That bugged me for real. She didn’t have as much money, so he couldn’t give her any presents? Hell with that, man, smother me in gifts, please. I’ll grace him with my presence, and that is all the gift he will need from me. Seriously, though, to be that sure that she wasn’t enough for Mr. Perfect, not pretty enough, rich enough, smart enough, talented enough, real men eat women like that for breakfast, and again, not in that good way. Women with no self esteem who prostrate themselves at the feet of their men like they’re worshipping a god get used, abused, and discarded, because men don’t want clingy, whiny snots that have to be constantly reassured. I can only imagine how annoying that would get after awhile. The men I know want women who feel good about themselves and know what they are worth, and women are worth a lot just by virtue of being born female. We are the givers of life, strong, resilient, yet soft and pliable. We are dichotomies and we are all special. Bella’s mom should have been slapped silly a few times for not teaching her daughter her worth.
And self sacrificing! My gods, was there any book where she didn’t put herself in harm’s way in order to give something to Edward, anything to make up for what she was lacking? Again, love doesn’t require your death.
I love Twilight, but after I got over the mooning phase where I was just in love with being in love again, I realized how weird this relationship was. Edward was a self doubting old man in a young man’s body with no sense of his own worth. Bella was a self doubting old woman in a young woman’s body with no sense of her worth. I guess it’s no wonder the two of them were so perfect for each other.
6 Responses to “The Other Half of the Cow”
Well, I’ll come out of the woodwork and say that I was the 17 year old who had never had a boyfriend, never dated and never kissed anyone. Even several years later I’ve had 2 boyfriends in my life and they both lasted a very short amount of time. So, in that respect I can identify. There are so many people out there who find it absolutely unbelievable that a girl would go 17 years without being in a relationship. But it’s true. It happens. I was one of them.
What really bugs me the most about Bella in the books is her aversion to recieving gifts. I do NOT understand that. She isn’t just playing coy, she literally HATES getting gifts! If I tried to give someone a gift and they constantly acted the way Bella did about it, I would be offended and hurt. I don’t blame Edward for acting the way he does when he tries to give her gifts. He is in a position where he can do those things for her, and she insults him in her attitude about it. Giving gifts is an expression of love and friendship, and by refusing them so cavalierly, Bella was in a sense, refusing Edward’s love and friendship.
I loved the books for the story they told. But like you, Meesh, when I stepped back and looked at things, I wanted to smack Bella (and Edward, but mostly Bella) upside the head for being such a whiny martyr. Sheesh, get a backbone already! =)
My disbelief isn’t at the idea that she’s 17 and never had a boyfriend, it’s that she’s 17, never had a boyfriend, and as soon as she gets one, turns into a predatory horndog, always jumping all over Edward like a seasoned vet. I remember my first real relationship, how timid I was, how shy I was about my “prowess”. She is way too cock-sure of herself, no pun intended, in that arena. It kind of seems out of sorts to me.
In both the “Slaughtering the Sacred Cow” posts I can not disagree with what has been put out there.
That being said, a part of me clings to the love I have for the books and in the books. I too was one of the girls who had very little experience with boys until later in life (first kiss at 15, first boyfriend at 17), but I can’t argue with your POV when it comes to the idea of Bella suddenly developing this sexual prowess upon meeting Edward. In fact, in Bella’s case, I would expect her to be a lot more timid, given her characterization in the books. For me, it sure didn’t happen for a long time, actually it took months before being the kind of aggressive Bella seemingly discovered in just a matter of weeks. Of course, we can’t ignore the fact that she was up against someone that had a draw that none of us have ever actually been up against.
I am more than willing to accept that everything stated here is truth, but I like to get lost in that unrealistic fantasy that is the Twilight series and I find that I can put aside these character flaws in lieu of the ridiculous joy I find in the satisfaction the books provide me.
Perhaps when I read them again (and it’s going to be a while) I will see it in a different way. Besides, I’m way too busy with the Brotherhood right now to even think about going there, hah!
I would like to comment , first of all, that I didn’t actually think Bella tried all that hard to get into Edward’s pants. She would attempt to deepen the kiss, Edward would pull away, and she would throw up her hands in frustration.
It’s my personal opinion that if Bella had been more persistent, she would’ve gotten what she wanted from Edward.
In regard to her being a “horndog” – You said it yourself – Bella had never before been in a relationship, and suddenly she’s with a guy she’s so deeply attracted to that she literally faints the second time they ever kiss. I don’t think it’s that unbelieveable that her repressed sexuality would surface in her situation.
And let’s not kid ourselves – even virgins who’ve never had a boyfriend have sexualities. I never had a relationship until I was 18 (& I’d never been anywhere CLOSE to having sex or any type of fooling around), and yet I’d learned to pleasure myself when I was very young. So when I finally entered into that first relationship, I behaved in much the same way as Bella – only this guy was far from “godlike.” And he certainly didn’t make me pass out when I kissed him.
In regard to her not enjoying receiving gifts – I have to admit that that particular trait bothered me a bit as well, but I understand it was one of those “quirks,” one of those flaws SM chose to gave her to make her more realistic. We all have flaws and quirks, after all.
If Bella been described as being pretty, coordinated, and unopposed to receiving gifts, she would’ve elicited complaints from readers about being a perfect Mary Sue. I personally like her as she is, flaws and all.
-Kari
I understand what you are saying Kari, but after reading all 4 books back to back, Bella got on my nerves. Maybe it’s because I was so much like her (gift receiving aside) that I didn’t like being so close to the truth. *lol*
However, I think that the way Bella was described made it perfect for everyone to slip into the fantasy relationship. I know I did, at least.
My criticisms of Bella and Edward in no way detract from my absolute adoration of the Twilight series. I didn’t dislike either of them. But they did have flaws, as they should have. Had they been perfect, it would have been a really, really boring book. I just like looking at details like this – little behaviors most people just buzz right by and never think twice about. And truthfully, they didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the series, which I’ve read 8 times.
But I called the first post “Slaughtering the Sacred Cow”, and I wrote them, because no one seems to feel like they are allowed to be critical of these two characters. I feel it’s important to note that you can be flawed and still be perfectly lovable.