When reading becomes a burden
Before I begin to write about my chosen topic, I have to do a shout out to Megsly. Yesterday MyVampFiction got an email from JR Ward to thank her for her thoughtful post about authors and their choices regarding fan fiction. JR Ward. Really and truly. Megsly, you gave me my first fan girl moment. (I mean, Rhage lives in her head!) Thank you. And a huge kudos for writing something that caught her eye, but also for writing something so true that it definitely deserved attention from someone amazing.
And now, on with the show. I’ve been reading a long time. In early 2001, a friend of mine became an editor for a publishing company and told me I should apply to be an editor with this company too. What avid reader hasn’t dreamed of getting paid for the privilege of reading, right? Plus I also edited academic papers and stuff as part of my real world work and have always been a grammar freak, so I applied and got the job. Dream come true.
I really thought it was my paradise. I couldn’t make a living at freelance editing, but it did pad my income a bit, gave me an opportunity to “discover” an unpublished author who has gone on to become published and who I am sure will someday be as famous as Alex Haley or Claude Brown (specific genres of reading, but he knew who they were). I worked for the company for a short while, maybe a year, before the owner of the company died and since it was a small, family owned outfit, so did the opportunity, but in that time, reading ceased being fun for me.
Reading became work, in its truest sense. During my short stint as a paid editor, I read manuscripts I wouldn’t have considered picking up in my most boring nightmares, and I had to read every word of them. One of the great things about line editing is that you soon learn that you can just skim the words to find typos and grammar issues, but that isn’t all I had to do. Not only did I have to read them and edit them for basic errors, I had to pay enough attention to the plot, the character development, and all the details, to give lots of constructive feedback on what the authors could do to make their manuscripts good enough to be published. Even those books that I know couldn’t be made into a product that could be sold, even those authors who didn’t have any flair for the craft. It sucked all the joy out of reading for me.
When the job ended, I wasn’t sad. Strangely, I was relieved. And I stopped reading fiction altogether. Except when a new Harry Potter book would come out, I didn’t pick up a fiction novel, not even to just flip through. My favorite authors sat on my shelves, ignored and gathering dust, until I finally packed up all but my most favorite hundred or so books and donated them. Reading had become tedium, work, and I didn’t even care. I didn’t want to read anymore. I bought a lot of non-fiction, things like The Mismeasure of Man, but no tales of adventure or gory gross out books that had me shaking under the covers at night.
I joined Twitter in the summer of 2008 at the urging of a coworker and one of the people I follow was gushing about Twilight. She was going on about how intriguing she found the story, how she felt like a teenager again, how enthralled she was. I read her tweets for more than a month before I decided to buy Twilight and see what she was talking about. I really didn’t expect to like it, and when the book was delivered, I kind of wondered what I had been thinking. I wasn’t even interested in reading. But I opened the book and started reading, and never stopped. I read Twilight in one sitting and kicked myself for not buying the rest. I ordered them, read the remaining three Friday night and Saturday. When I finished Breaking Dawn at 2 am on Sunday morning, I cried. Not because of the story, but because I felt like me again.
I remembered why I loved reading in the first place and for the first time since I started editing, I was in love with stories again. Twilight opened a floodgate for me. Since August of 2008, I can’t count the number of books I’ve read, not including the fan fiction I read as a beta and for fun. My shelves are again overflowing with books that I can hold and stroke and fondle. I am so thankful to Stephenie Meyer for writing such a fun story that brought this all back for me. I’m not sure I’d be reading now if Twilight hadn’t captured my imagination the way it did, causing me to find like minded people who then gave me other reading ideas. Like the Black Dagger Brotherhood, as if you really thought I could write a whole post without mentioning them, right?
I miss editing professionally sometimes. There was something about helping to shape books that might one day be in print that was very satisfying, but I’m happy to have reading for fun back in my life. I’m much happier as the rabid consumer of the written word that I was born to be.
When I say “avid reader”, it doesn’t begin to cover my reading habits. As a child, I would hide behind chairs so I could read undisturbed. When my friends would go to the pool, I would stay home to read. When I was a newlywed, my husband has tons of pictures of me lying on the couch with some book or another in my hands. Reading has been more than part of my life since I was three years old, and that means almost 40 years of reading at this point. The sad part about losing it was I didn’t even realize I missed it until I got it back.
I miss editing sometimes, and not all of it was bad. I did get to read a lot of good manuscripts. I got to meet some amazing people. I “found” Daniel Black, who is one of the best writers whose work I’ve ever had the pleasure of consuming. But I’m happy that I can now pick up books and just read, giving up all thought of how realistic the characters words are, or if they would behave the way they are, and did the timeline just zigzag into a warp or what. I like just reading, warp speed, as much as I can, like gorging on cheesecake for my brain.
Sue,
Not a freaking problem! You gotta support what you love and I love the site. If it weren’t for people spreading the word about things they love, I never would’ve discovered the BDB and I think I should just keep it going so to speak and put the word out about things I’m avid about.
So really, thank yourselves for having such an amazing site for me to support!
JR Ward is an amazing author and such an inspiration. To have her take the time to acknowledge a blog posted on our little site blew all of us away. It really goes to show that we should always put care into what we write, because there is telling who might read it!
And Meesh, we’ve talked about this before, but I can totally understand how editing professionally could sap away anyone’s love for reading. I think if I was forced to read manuscripts every day, many of which I would never read if given the choice, I wouldn’t feel like picking up a book for my leisure time activity either.
I’m so glad you were able to recaputure your love for reading, especially since that is what eventually brought us together.
Char, it’s true. The Warden emailed us, because Megsly took a stance on the fan fiction thing. There are many authors who request that no fan fiction be written based on their works. As readers and huge fans of different series, it’s frustrating on the one hand, but on the other, it is our job to support our favorite authors. And if that means no fan fic….that means no fan-fic. Back in the conceptual phase of MVF, we all agreed that we wouldn’t allow fan fic that was based on any book in which that author has requested no fanfic. As much as we would love to read more about Wrath & Beth; Rhage & Mary…we have to respect the author’s wish.
Thanks for being such an avid supporter of our site, Char. We couldn’t do it without people like you!
First of all JR WARD EMAILED YOU?!?! Seriously, if that happened to me, I’d shit myself and die! She’s such a HUGE inspiration to me as far as writing is concerned so getting an email from a hero like that would just…be heartattack inducing, for sure.
Secondly, I can’t imagine losing such a huge part of yourself the way you lost your love for reading. I’m not really an avid reader–more of a find a book I really like and sit pretty much in one place until it’s done then move on and do something else kinda reader–but if I were to losing something like my love for writing or sewing or listening to music, I’m not sure what I would do. Glad you got over it tho and that you’re back to the way you were before! As Aro says, “I do love a happy ending” :D
I’m literally tearing up at this blog post Meesh! Seriously, that was like a good short story and it was all about love. Being in it, falling out of it, and finding it again.
My own personal story is similar yet different. I threw myself into a serious job opportunity at 25 and in the midst of growing a new company, I lost my “me” time (included but not limited to reading). It was completely my own fault, but when I let that part of my passion go, I lost a large chunk of my inspiration and imagination.
I lost said job last year when the economy went downhill. Then I discovered Twilight through a friend and….the same thing that happened with you, happened with me.
Now I am employed again but I make sure I allow myself the time to do the things that I enjoy. Isn’t that what living is all about? Doing the things you love?
And, completely thrilled about the attention Megsly’s blog received. I nearly fell out of my chair when I heard about it.
Enjoyed your musings once again Meesh!