Forgetting to write? what?
I had originally planned to write today’s column on the aspect of fantasy in writing fanfic, and I actually wrote the piece a week ago. It was intensely personal, and in the end I decided I wasn’t quite ready to divulge that much of myself yet. It also had a great deal to do with Charlie Bewley, and I’ve noticed that trend in my posting lately, so I thought I’d give you all a break from the Charlie-spam.
I have come down to the final 5 or 6 chapters of Finding Forever. I decided to write the epilogue first, then work backwards so I could better tie the story together and not have to worry about fixing all of the lose ends later. I am so anxious to finish the story that I have been consumed with thoughts about it, pretty much twenty four hours a day. I have my other story, the Demetri side-shot, She Holds a Key… that I had started and then thought I might finish it up after I finish Finding Forever, but other than that I planned to bow out of fanfiction after Finding Forever is done. Last Wednesday I was ready to go home and get to work on the FF epilogue when I was literally struck down with a plot bunny. Demetri decided he didn’t want me putting off his story, he wanted me to write NOW. I hurried home, whipped out the computer and started writing his heartbreaking back story. The same thing happened on Thursday, and Friday morning while I was at work. In fact, the compulsion to write on Friday morning was SO great, I felt like I was going to throw up. I had to get it out, and I’m glad I didn’t ignore the urge, because I think it’s some of my best stuff so far.
Unfortunately, something has happened between Friday afternoon and now: I have forgotten to think about writing.
I am one of those people who has frequent conversations with the characters that reside in my head. Of course, this is fanfiction, and I do not own these characters, but I have been writing Felix and the Volturi (not to mention my original character Janie) for almost a year. They live up there in my noggin, and they talk to me, argue with me, and frequently wake me up because they are bickering with each other (Aro and Sulipicia fight all the time, jsyk). And since Saturday afternoon, it’s been eerily silent. There hasn’t been a conversation, and “please write me!” diatribe, not even so much as a throat being cleared. There is absolutely nothing going on up there. I haven’t even felt guilty about not writing. I have been so preoccupied that I forgot to think about writing.
I am one of those people that is always thinking about, talking about, or writing on my story. If I am not writing on it, I’m re-reading parts of it; if I’m not doing one of those things, I’m brainstorming with one of my friends about it. I am constantly thinking about my story, even if that thought is, “wow, I really need to write tonight,” (which I think pretty frequently as well). But the last few days? Nothing. Nada. Zip, zero, zilch.
And what’s worse? I’m not worried about it. Don’t get me wrong, I fully intend to finish my stories. I don’t think there is any way I could leave Finding Forever unfinished. But for now, it’s just oddly quiet. Demetri’s back story, when it’s finished is going to be major heart fail, and Finding Forever has a few more “whoa!” moments coming. But I just…don’t want to write them right now.
I’m sure that some of you other peeps out there have experienced this, so my question is: do you worry about it? Do you post that you are on hiatus? How do you reassure your readers that you are not abandoning the story? I don’t really plan to be gone for long. Trust me when I say, the things that have preoccupied my brain will eventually wane and I’ll be back to my normal, moody self again. But it’s almost a disconcerting feeling to go from dying to write to forgetting to write entirely. Especially when I know the cause and I am helpless to stop it. *sigh*
In the meantime, if you are reading Finding Forever (which WILL get finished), you will really really like “Fallen Princess” by Bforqueen. This woman is a master storyteller. It’s only about 7 chapters in, but if you read those chapters, I guarantee you will be salivating for more. Her fluff is sweet, her horror is gruesome, her lemons are smokin’ hot (like her brother), and the rest is just too good to put into words. I kid you not, you will fall in love with Luciana and the world around her. I am on pins and needles every time she says she has written something new, because it’s just that good. If it sounds like I am gushing (which I have been doing a lot of lately), it’s because I am. Go read this story and leave her some love in the reviews. This is one you just cannot pass up.
Until next time…have a blessed day!
Char – I did bitch the guy out, by the way.
But only after he PM’ed me to announce that he wasn’t going to review anymore. Apparently he thought that because I responded to his rudeness with a simple “Thanks so much for reading!” that I couldn’t handle criticism.
And then he proceeded to complain that my review responses weren’t long enough. Well, apparently he expected me to argue with him & to explain my writing decisions to him & in general pay him special attention.
Well, I paid him the special attention that he wanted. If he doesn’t review again, then good riddance. ;)
I would like to add something else.
I realize that “don’t force it” is the popular consesus, but I’ve found that sometimes “forcing it” is a necessary evil as a writer, or else I’ll just piddle-fart around a lot of days & not accomplish a thing writing-wise.
And sometimes, when the writing doesn’t want to come, I’ll plow my way through at first, but then, after I’ve written a page or so it’ll start to flow more naturally. And no one has ever said to me, “Meh, the writing seemed forced.” Even when I warned my beta that I forced the writing, her response is usually, “Looks like your usual quality standards to me.”
That being said, everyone needs a break now & then. After briefly losing interest in my story & hardly writing a thing for two months, I sat down to write & couldn’t stop. My beta has a chap, & I’m putting final touches on another.
However, I would advice against putting it off for TOO long, or chances are, you’ll never come back to it. I hate that I’ve abandoned stories in other fandoms, & that still bothers me sometimes, and so I was determined that once I started IPON, that I would NEVER abandon it.
& I’m proud to say that I’ve kept to it. It’s been a long, often frustrating 15 months, & sometimes readers annoy me more than they uplift me. Sometimes I think “Why do I even bother posting?” because I seem to have pissed some people off with the direction I’ve decided to take my fic.
But I keep plowing on for the sake of those readers who’ve been so loyal & good & who’ve stuck with me thru all the ups & downs, & because I know it would bother me forever to know that I put SO MUCH of myself into something & then abandoned it. And abandoned those loyal readers in the process.
-Kari
Thanks for the advice guys. This is so bizarre of a situation for me because even when I have been on hiatus, I was still thinking about my stories. But I literally have not even thought about them since Saturday. Which is very very bizarre for me. Just ask my friends who normally have to listen to me ramble on about them 24/7. *lol*
KariAnn ~ what a douche!! I would’ve bitched the guy out but that’s just me.
SA ~ I’ve had stories that I’ve lost interest in writing. Mine are usually posted on a message board and unfortunately, those message boards have been shut down for various reasons (problems with the board server, people just quit going on, one was shut down cause the owner was sick of all the fighting on it and just closed it). But on the plus side, that helped with the whole “I don’t wanna update, just not into it anymore”. ‘Course I still get random comments from friends saying “Hey, you remember this story? You haven’t worked on it in a while *hint hint*nudge nudge*wink wink*”
For the stories on boards that are still up, I usually post a note saying “On hiatus: busy with real life/ blocking hard on it/ can’t be arsed to deal with it and lost interest”. The real fans of my work/ real friends and supporters will understand and a lot of them are writers, too, so they know what that’s like.
That being said, I just went through a phase where I seriously just did not wanna work on my series, which sucked cause I’m pretty much committed to a 6-story series (I’m on the second one now). But I did other things: I sew a new purse and coin purse to go with it, I read a few books, I watched (a WHOLE LOTTA) baseball. So when I returned to it a month or so later, I was really into it. I got three chapters done in about 4 days, which considering I had written one chapter in about 2 1/2 months, was really good.
One piece of advice I’d give (before I wrap up this ramble) is don’t force it. If you don’t feel like working on it, then don’t. People can tell when you force yourself into it. I once did that in order to finish a story and to this day, I hate the ending. That was about 3 or 4 years ago. Tell your readers that you’re busy and need a little break, but you aren’t abandoning it and are definitely planning to return when you are in a better mindset. I’m sure Felix and Janie will appreciate you wanting to do right by them and not ruin their story.
Oh and PS, don’t worry bout the Charlie spam. I’m guilty of the same thing, except it’s about a baseball player *purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*
Susan – To answer your question, I’ve made announcements about going on hiatus. Generally, you get less death threats if you give people a heads up. IPoN has pretty much taken over my life, so the past two months I DESPERATELY needed to slow down my writing & concentrate on other things.
Well, when I updated last (it had been about 5 weeks, ’cause my beta’s RL has been crazy-hectic as well), I was shocked by the rude comments from readers about the time it took me to update. I got a comment from a girl who felt the need to “vent” because my real life inconvenienced her so badly, & this one guy went on & on about it in his review, & this was AFTER I explained to him in a PM (yes, he PM’ed me the week before to remind me how long it had been since my last update) that I’ve been busy with personal matters & that likewise my beta’s real life has been hectic.
Anyway, all this to say that I do thing it’s a good idea to inform your readers if you’re going to slow your updating scedule or go on hiatus if you don’t want the rude/harassing reviews & PMs.
Oh, & WOOT on having a handful of chaps left! I’m in the same boat, only in my case, the prospect of finishing is a HUGE motivating factor! As of this past February, I’d been writing IPoN for a stinkin’ year, & I’m SOOOO ready to get this project completed!
-Kari
I completely agree with Lumedog – when it feels right to write, do it. I think right now you are residing in the present and there’s nothing wrong with that. Sometimes I wish I could turn off “the voices in my head” but I’m still looking for the switch.
I’m actually having the opposite problem at the moment – I have so many plot bunnies exploding in my head I have multiple stories in progress and notes about “Future Chapters” scribbled in three different notebooks.
Finally – everyone do read Fallen Princess – I love Luciana and you will too!
Haha! Love this post! I often suffer from the same affliction, if you want to call it that. And here’s my two cents’ worth: it’s OKAY.
Having recently been struck by the mother of all plot bunnies (as you call them), I was so stoked to brainstorm and get down my ideas for a o/s (and you and Meg were so helpful in that process). My brain was tingling with creative energy and I put it to good use – I think.
Then the weekend came and I figured I could parlay that into either working on my existing fic or the o/s. This did not happen.
I think that the creative burst is so draining that your brain needs time to recover – hence your (and my) lack of productivity immediately following.
I’ve learned so much from this whole fanfic/writing experience, and one of the lessons is to trust yourself. When it feels right to write, do it. If it feels right to cook dinner, talk with friends or just vegg out, do that.
It will happen. It’s just one of those things that cannot be forced.
That’s my opinion, though.
Good luck, and much love.
No! No kicks in the butt! Please don’t do that! *lol* But I still love you hardstyle (defo not trance)
Have I told you lately that I love you? No? Yes? Well, i do. I LOVE YOU HARDCORE (not trance, because that’s, well…you know) I have to admit though, that I will be kicking the source of your distraction in the butt soon, because I want to read more FF and SHAK.
Oh…by the way…I love you…
Mwah!!
xoxo