Friendship, Now Online

Posted by Jules in Just Sayin' with Jules | 6 comments

A little over a year ago I found myself unemployed and with more free time than I could imagine.  I had been doing the full time work dance for twelve years.  I threw myself into the job search and was stunned by the lack of response I received to my multiple inquiries.  I worked with one of my closest friends and she was laid off as well, at least I wasn’t alone, right? WRONG.  Three months after we joined the ranks of those without a job she moved eight hours south of me, but not before introducing me to the Twilight series.

It had been a long time since I had the luxury of immersing myself in the world of reading.  When I was working I read a book every couple of months – during my eleven-month unemployment stint I read a total of thirteen books plus a handful of multi-chapter fan fics.  Escaping to other worlds when I was in the midst of the confines of being jobless was a welcomed relief, but it was also quite lonely.  I started branching out, talking to people in the Twilighted forums and eventually crossed paths with Susan Ashlea.  That’s when my small world started opening up a bit.  

Don’t get me wrong, I do have friends and am a very social person, it’s just that my closest friends don’t live where I do.  

What I found in the online community was that I was able to express myself openly about my passions without being judged because I was in an environment that supported the specific things I was interested in.  I never could have predicted what ended up happening, though.

I’ve “met” several people I count among my BFFs through the wonders of online socializing.  I’ve been fortunate to meet a few in person, and the list of those I want to meet has grown so long that I spend a lot of time thinking about how I can travel the world on a limited budget.  At first we may have started out discussing all things fandom, but that has expanded into other topics and quality time spent actually getting to know each other. My only wish is that I could have discovered all of this at an earlier time because it’s enriched my life in so many ways – too many to list here.

Of course, there are frustrations to having found such good friends online.  There’s that pesky separation anxiety that comes with being away from a computer (sometimes mobile doesn’t cut it).  There’s an added challenge of navigating the different time zones.  There’s the frustration that erupts when you want to be there for someone but you can’t because you’re three thousand miles (or more) away.

Aggravations aside, I’ve found the experience of making friends online much more rewarding than I ever expected it could be.  I found kindred spirits in unlikely places and feel so lucky that I’ve had the opportunity to do so.  I never have to filter myself and even though we may not agree on everything, at least I know they embrace me for who I am.  I’ve opened myself up and shared parts of my personality I used to obscure from the general public.  To all of you I’ve met (and those of you I haven’t yet) thank you for giving me a world where I’m free to be me, even if I’m not your usual cup of tea.

And, to those of you still just lurking out there – step out from behind the tree, introduce yourself and don’t be afraid to interact.  I did it and it’s one of the best decisions I ever made.