Confessions of A Closeted Fanfic Writer: January Edition
Of Blockages and Blinking Cursors
By: Pemberly Rose
For this month’s Confession I was stumped for a bit. I didn’t know what exactly I wanted to talk about until Wednesday of this past week. It hit me as I was trying to work on my fic Life in Technicolor. You see I had this plan. The fic has little over a dozen chapters left and I had planned to get them all done in the 4 weeks of Christmas break I had before the semester would begin.
As you can tell by the title of this blog post that certainly did NOT happen. Sigh. I did get some marginal bit of writing done. Nothing substantial enough for a chapter I’m afraid. It really annoys me when I’m blocked mentally when it comes to my writing.
I know a lot of us have this same frustration. We finally get time in our hectic schedules between school for some and family obligations for others its insane to find the time to actually sit down and pound out a chapter or two. Especially if you have a lead character who is a wordy h00r like I do.
My life would suggest that I have a ton of time to write wouldn’t it? Currently I’m in school, doing prereq’s for med school but usually just part time. Though the classes are time consuming, I can usually find a good time management schedule during my long study hours at the library. You know a rewards program. Read a chapter in Biology or Chemistry – get to write for an hour. Additionally, I don’t have a job and I live at home. That could denote a little bit more free time than say my fic wifey Todream3 who is the stay at home mom with three kids and a hubs that suck up all of her free time.
But alas no – I feel like a parent. Which is why I still live at home for two major reasons. The first is that I have zilch for money after losing my job a year ago. I’m still looking for one to have spending money during the semester. See I already have a bachelor’s degree and am going back to school because there’s really no such thing as real print journalism anymore. It’s all sensationalism and corporate owned. So what I got my degree in I can’t even find work in. Reason number two is my father. When I was a kid he had three brain surgeries. Long story short he’s aging, going to be sixty-five this year and though he has some independence it’s beginning to wane and my dear mother who works two jobs and is in her PhD program needs all the help she can get with him.
Let me tell you my dad is about as much of a time suck as tumblr and twitter can be. Sure I like spending time with him, but a girl needs time to herself too. The worst part is when I get the writing mojo flowing something invariably (read: Dad) comes in to interrupt. It’s not like I can say: “damnit Dad I’m writing a very important scene between my romantic leads!” Well I could say it but then that would open up a huge ole can of worms and potentially cause an argument. I don’t know about you but arguing about fiction, fanfiction at that with a nearly sixty-five year old Italian from Brooklyn is not my idea of a good time. Thus one in the stack of reasons that I’m in the closet in this fandom so I usually sigh, click save and close the lid on my laptop and do my daughterly duties.
Which is what leads me back to my point: Writer’s block. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world. It’s simultaneously frustrating and infuriating. When I finally get time to sit down and write something always comes up. Have to make dinner… Have to change the load of laundry… The dogs need to go outside… and so on ad nauseum.
Even now, right now as I write this blog post at 3:44am on a Wednesday morning I know there are things I need to do. Cleaning, shopping lists, and you know that thing called sleep, just to name a few. But I’m not doing any of those things. Instead I’m here writing this, reading fic and trying desperately to plough through this horrendous mental block that I don’t even realize what it’s about.
For quite a while this was my Trillian Icon - no lie
That about sums it up right there. I don’t know what exactly the problem is. I’ve tried different venues, libraries, the car (on the road trip to Vegas with my family I swear I wasn’t driving), my bedroom, and all over the house. For some stupid reason I cannot concentrate. It’s gotten to the point of ridiculousness where I feel almost like I have attention deficit disorder, which I definitely know I don’t have! I’ve looked at the material I have planned and there’s nothing that jumps out and bothers me. Or gives me that nagging “I think they might turn on me if I write this” feeling that I sometimes get when I delve a little into the controversial topics tide pool.
I’ve actually started googling how to cure writer’s block. Here are some links that might be useful:
- http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/567/01/
- http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/composition/brainstorm_block.htm
- http://www.webook.com/911writersblock
- http://fictionwriting.about.com/od/writingroadblocks/tp/block.htm
Maybe these can help some of us out there. As of now it’s 4AM and I must get some sleep before carting my Dad to the motor vehicle department for his new plates and I bid you all adieu and that you’re not as blocked as I am at the moment!
What are your tips, tricks, or stories when it comes to writer’s block? Enlighten us please!
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