Elements of Style

Posted by Amelia Bassett in Writing Resource | 3 comments

Hello there, I’m back again! I had been planning on looking at humor for this month’s column, but after the last couple weeks’ worth of being a beta, reading, and writing my own original fiction novel, I decided to focus on more pressing matters. This month I will be focusing on clichés and dead metaphors, pretentiousness, repetitiousness, and dialogue tags.  I would rank these topics as being crucial to master and I have included the opinion of various other authors on the matter.

Now, without further ado!

Clichés and Dead Metaphors

I’m sure with fandom being so large and widespread, or even with certain types of characters or settings being so attractive, it is easy to fall victim to clichés. Some are easier than others to identify, like the jock and head cheerleader, or the Mary Sue character. I can forgive some if they are written well, unlike Kane, the author of The New Oxford Guide to Writing.

He defines a cliché as a trite expression, one devalued by overuse, such as the bottom line, the finer things of life, the moment of truth, and cool, calm, and collected. Kane claims that clichés are dull and unoriginal and that they impede clear perception, feeling, or thought.

Ouch.

In short, they are molds into which we can force our own ideas, but instead of really shaping it, we add a little bit here or there, using our own dialogue without realizing what we’ve done.

Whilst I agree with him to a certain degree, that’s not to say that I am completely against them, but I feel that I must stress the importance of owning your characters. Know their every thought, what they wear, how they walk, what makes them tick, what they hate. If you can know your characters inside and out, you can make almost anything work.

It is important not to confuse clichés with dead metaphors. A cliché tries to be fresh, original, and perceptive, but it fails. A dead metaphor has been used so many times that even if it at one stage it were a cliché it isn’t any longer, and has now become part of our every day speech.

Some examples of these are: The key to the problem, the heart of the matter, the mouth of the river. 

Don’t worry about those – they are just fine!

Pretentiousness

When it comes to pretentiousness, I am brutal. There are a few different ways that writers can incorporate pretentiousness into their work. The first of which is overstatement. If I read that a personal assistant had to read a twenty-thousand page synopsis on how her boss likes things done, or that she is given nine billion jobs a day, I will switch off. Overstatement can work, however when I consulted my trusty – Elements of Style by Strunk, White and Kalman, they only had one opinion on the matter.

Don’t do it.

I kid you not. But there are reasons behind this, the first of which is that it puts your readers on guard. Everything that you have written and everything that follows will be suspect in their minds because you have lost their confidence in your writing and in your poise. It seems awfully harsh, but I’d have to agree. I love a good adjective, but keep it practical and plausible. There are many instances that I could point out and I’m sure you’ve used one or two in your writing. I know I have!

Another example of pretentiousness that I know you will have encountered: the big words that serve no purpose (except perhaps to show off). I’m no dictionary, but I have a fairly extensive vocabulary and sometimes (I’m not ashamed to say) I have to Google define things. Here’s the thing, do not use a pretentious word when a simpler one will do. If you’re going to use a big word, make sure it matches the character. I truly detest reading a seventeen year old who speaks as though she has spent years on Thesaurus.com, just learning finding some big words she can use in place of others.

Avoid fancy words. Avoid the elaborate, the pretentious, the coy, and the cute. Do not be tempted by a twenty-dollar word when there is a ten-center handy.

I’ll leave you with a final tip on the subject: If you are going to use Thesaurus.com, or even Word Synonyms, ensure that you know the true meaning behind the word that you have decided on. Just because it is a synonym does not make it perfect for the context in which you are placing it. Think of it as though you’ve put on a fresh set of clothes, but your shirt is just too plain. Instead, you opt for a silk or lace replacement. It’s a little too long,a little too much and it won’t sit just right no matter how hard you try.

But then again, I’m not saying do not use synonyms because I think they’re a great tool. If I ever get stuck on a word and it isn’t quite enough, or it just needs a little embellishment to be just right, I will search. Just be clever about it and avoid being pretentious.

Dialogue tags

I have one piece of advice and once piece of advice only – “he said” and “she said” are true dialogue tags. Sometimes they get the reputation of being boring or mundane, but the truth is that they are invisible and can be overlooked by the reader. Dialogue tags are often used in excess and it can be so exhausting trying to wade through a wordy description when a simple, “he said” or “she whispered” will do. Remember that it is not necessary to have a dialogue tag after every line of speech.

I’ve bought several new books recently one of which discusses the elements of style. I feel that it sums up my next point quite well.

“In dialogue, make sure that your attributives do not awkwardly interrupt a spoken sentence. Place them where the break would come naturally in speech – that is, where the speaker would pause for emphasis or take a breath. The best test for locating an attributive is to speak the sentence aloud.”

I know how tempting it can be at times, to interrupt speech and include a dialogue tag. As a beta I come across them frequently, so I’ve listed a couple of the more common ones below.

“So,” he asked, “What are you doing here?”

“What were you,” she began, her eyes wide, “doing in there!”

This is both untidy and unnecessary. If you can hold out on your dialogue tag until the end of the sentence, your readers would be rather appreciative. Unless it is absolutely necessary, try to avoid sticking little dialogue tags wherever your heart desires. A little tip that I like to share with others is to read your dialogue out loud. Find where the most natural pause is and if you must put in a dialogue tag –  put it there.

Repetitiousness

Repetitiousness is something that I have encountered fairly frequently over the last month. Repetitiousness is more than just dull and untidy, it is mundane and repetitiousness can cause your readers to switch off and close that window, or that book.

I do hope you can see my point clearly, because I had to fight the urge to change those last two sentences. Every English loving cell in my body (which is all of them) wanted to delete my example and find a nicer way of informing you all. Unfortunately, I had to take the plunge and leave it as is. There are a couple different types of repetition that drive me up the wall.

The first type can be found in the example above – simply using the same word several times. It can be anything from a noun, to a verb, to an adjective. Unless it is absolutely crucial to repeat a word, it will sound awkward if repeated too closely. If you must, find a synonym.

Another type is using the same dialogue tag several times in a row. I know that I am nearly impossible to please, but “he said,” one line after the other can be so mundane. Do try to spruce it up a bit, but instead of putting one line after the other, your audience may be clever enough to be able to discern who is speaking. If you’re that worried, offer your phrase to a beta service to have a look at.

I think that brings us to the end of this month’s Writer’s Resource. Thank you so much for reading and I’d love to hear your thoughts on how you avoid some of the dilemmas that I’ve listed above.