True Blood, Why Am I Dyin’?

Posted by Bulletsucker in True Blood, TV Talk | 4 comments

If you watched episode 3 of season 4, Truebies, I hope you’ve recovered in the past 24. We got several eye-fulls of Eric’s V, and I ain’t talkin’ about his blood. Nope, I’m talkin’ about this rewind-and-pause-worthy scene:

Awwww, Eric looks so lost and innocent, it just makes me wanna take him home and care for him… in the shower. Maybe Sookie, or Snookie as Eric calls her, will figure out how convenient that cubby he built in her house can be when she needs some one-on-one with Mr. Northman. Unfortunately, she’s still playing hard to get, and the first night he spends in her house is all alone. How could you, Sookie? He’s a gentle giant *gulp* who just needs some love!

I have to give Sook credit, tho. She totes cleans his feet off all Luke 7:44 style, unknowingly tickling him, which makes him (dare I say) giggle. Meanwhile, Pam gets a phone call mid-meal, and finds out Eric is out of sorts. She rushes over to Sookie’s house, and has a few choice words with our fav “pretty blonde bottle” before Pam’s maker shoves her to the ground through several rooms in the house, and says, “You be nice to her.” Anyone else see Eric as the comic relief this season?

Anyway, Sookie does her best to welcome Eric into her  life as her house mate, which is nothing short of being as frigid as the Arctic Circle. She even goes as far as trying to pawn him off on Alcide, who we’ll get to in a minute. Sook, you know you’ve been dreaming about this chance, so take it. Besides, how can you resist his “Sorry” smile after he kills your fairy godmother? *SO cute* Meanwhile, we’ll be enjoying the view.

As for the other six-pack we’d like to see more of, he’s now living in Shreveport (how convenient!) with Debbie Pelt, who’s  supposedly mending her ways via “the program.” Yup, you heard right: she’s still alive.

Now, I know that she wasn’t “killed off” last season, so I shouldn’t be surprised she’s back, but I’m just waiting for it to hit the fan, you know, like in the book. Deb’s lookin’ pretty good with a new blond hair-do and clothes that actually cover more than just her lady bits.

I almost want to believe her five-minute spiel about finding Jesus and learning to forgive, but somethin’ tells me not to trust her. Maybe it’s the dramatic wereh00r-to-Disney look she’s trying to pull off, but I just have a bad feeling about this relaysh, Alcide.

Speaking of that lover boy who gave me plenty to hug last Halloween, he hasn’t lost his werewolf appeal yet, and that’s plenty to celebrate at this point in the season! He’s still as solid as ever, reminding me that a hard man is good to find. Unfortunately, Sookie’s not going to get that slice of pie, either. Alcide is now shackin’ up with Debs, thinking everything will turn out for the best between his gf and Sookie. I don’t wanna judge, but if someone tried to kill me, I’m not sure I’d be very open to rebuilding a relaysh. What is even weirder is that Sookie goes all the way to Alcide’s new house to ask if he will vamp-sit Eric, but the scene is almost pointless, since he isn’t shirtless, and Sookie leaves because she’s decided it was a bad idea to push Eric-the-problem-roomie onto Alcide. Huh. Sookie couldn’t have figured that one out prior to driving from Bon Temps to Shreveport?

Let’s move on to a few other story arcs that aren’t working for me: Why is Tara back in town? She does nothing but hang with Lafayette & Jesus, always complaining that BT has only brought her problems. I find it hard to believe that she’s going to stick around just because Lafayette has decided to turn over Marnie in order to be spared the unimaginable outcome that Eric has planned for the coven. Tara, stop playing the martyr, and get a sub-plot. Speaking of playing martyr, Sam now has to look out for Maxine Fortenberry, since his creepy brother is trying to swindle her out of her property so he can sell the gas rights from under her. Oh, and Sam and Tara have a little platonic party (did someone say shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots!) on his front porch, making us feel the love that may or may not still be there between them. It’s ambiguous, to say the least.

As long as we’re on sub-plots, let’s turn over to Bill and Portia. Now, I’m not going to spoil this plot for y’all, but if you’ve read the books, you know these two just SHOULD NOT BE TOGETHER. Yet, they are, and I have no idea if their storyline will follow the book, but when they get busy, my gag reflex kicks in. BTW, is Bill annoying anyone else with his power trip? I can’t stand his smarmy attitude, espesh when he’s all fatherly to Jessica. Actually, I don’t think Bill could be any more annoying if he got kidnapped and required saving… oh, wait…

Anyway, Jessica goes to Bill to confess eating someone else besides Hoyt. Bill advises her to tell him the truth before he finds out from someone else. Jessica skips home to her lover boy, who’s been sitting on the couch cuddling Chucky all night. As she lays it all out, Hoyt loses it, as any red-blooded American boy who’s in love and doesn’t want to share would rightfully do. Jessica, being the sneaky lil vamp that she is, glamors Hoyt into forgetting what she said and did. She reasons that she loves him too much to put him through such pain and misery. How considerate of her. Jessica also decides to give Arlene’s baby a macabre doll that has been thrown away, but keeps returning. Something’s amiss in Bon Temps, y’all! Maybe BT Police can help figure out what it could be…

Except that Andy’s hooked on V somethin’ serious, and he’s being rude to Sam and all, while Jason is being fed Viagra so he can give the ladies of Hot Shot some panther cubs. Who would have ever thought that Jason would hate having random relations with multiple women in one night? Yet, he tells Crystal he hates her, but she just keeps on keepin’ on with the whole panther-baby-makin’, while the rest of the Hot Shot females wait their turn. I think this is where this week’s song, “If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin’?” comes in.

Did I miss anything? Probably, but that’s what happens when my priorities are shirtless Eric scenes. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some rewinding and pausing to catch up on…

See y’all next week, fangbangers.

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