Hey, this IS my life as a writer!

Posted by SandyQuill in Columns, Featured, Quill's Corner | 3 comments

Yes, This Actually Happened
or
Hey, This IS My Life as a Writer
by
Sandi Layne

My life as a writer is not all timetables and outlines.  I really don’t spend my entire life taking actual notes or plotting the heartbreak or healing of characters.  Sometimes, I just hang out with my guys or go see the in-laws. You know, like anyone else.

The thing is, when you spend your life sharing experiences – real or imagined – with others, you get into the oft-amusing habit of translating things that happen into a story.  “Oh, that’s gotta go in a book,” I’ve muttered more than once, copying tweets, message board threads, or even taking pictures.

On the day Hurricane Irene was sweeping its way up the Eastern Coast of the United States, I was at a birthday party for my husband at his mother’s house.  We were not “feeling” Irene at that point, so saw no need to postpone the party.  I brought my laptop, though, because I’m working on a new novel and wanted to be able to take notes if they came to me.  (And in a conversation with my mother-in-law, I did have some new ideas for this book, so my “note” file is increasing for that story.)

Anyway! I’m a writer. I think like a writer – I think.  I don’t know if other writers do this, though I have it on good authority that stand-up comedians do.  After an amusing mishap on the elevated decking outside my mother-in-law’s dining room, I wrote the following piece.  Because, this is what I do. I’m a writer and I respond to my world…with words.

“Dinner and a Show”
or
How I Kept My Mother-in-Law Laughing for Hours

Today was the big family birthday celebration for my husband.  His mother hasn’t been able to celebrate with him for many years due to the exigencies of time and space for perhaps fifteen years. So it was a big day.

We spent two hours making a special frosting.  We broke in the brand-new ice cream maker.

And I broke a flower-pot arrangement.  Because my mother-in-law tried to kill me.

I think I thwarted her devious design (please note how firmly my tongue is in my cheek) by falling backward instead of forward.

She has a lovely chair swing.  While the corn was cooking, my mother-in-law invited me (mwahaha) to relax outside on their upper balcony in the swing, as there is a restful view.  Perhaps fifteen feet above the ground, the balcony overlooks a sharp drop into a wooded area.  I have never occupied this swing and was looking forward to it.

Armed with my Kindle (yes!) I sat down in the swing.

And it fell over backward.

I was immediately covered in potting soil. My face and hair and in my mouth and nose.  My legs were high in the air – and I am SO relieved no one was out there to get a picture of my overturned body, holding my Kindle up out of the mess of dirt in which I found myself.

Hours later, after we had eaten a celebratory lunch and enjoyed our cake and ice cream, my mother-in-law confessed to me (in an effort, I am sure, to alleviate my lingering embarrassment) that she had fallen in the swing before.

So! I had proof! This was a premeditated act!

Okay, she is still snorting about this event.   I am still very very happy no one had a camera or my bare legs and dirt-covered face would be plastered all over Facebook.

Because my mother-in-law spends a lot of time there, and I am sure she and other mothers-in-law are wondering how to rid themselves of extraneous daughters-in-law.

But only after we provide grandchildren.

I wrote this after my husband opened his presents.  It took me perhaps ten minutes, while a discussion was being held regarding the steadily-worsening weather.  I informed my mother-in-law that I had written this and then I read it to her and she doubled over laughing.

Why would I post something with so much potential for embarrassment, you may wonder?  Well, I put my words – myself – out for public viewing on a regular basis.  Doing so is a tacit invitation for scrutiny and judgment by parties unknown to me.  Sharing moments of my real life is quite mild in comparison to having people read a book of mine and review it in a public forum.

I posted the story about the chair swing on my blog, and – due to the exigencies of Hurricane Ire
ne and the preparation and preoccupation that accompanied it – I realized I could increase my productivity by using the account twice, by sharing it here with you in Quill’s Corner.

September’s column will be all about time management. I challenge you as I am challenging myself:  Watch how your minutes are spent, every day.  You won’t get them back again.  But you can write about them!